A little refresher on the narc abuse cycle:
According to Manya Wakefield of Narc Abuse Rehab & expert Dr. Thomas Franklin, MD a pyschiatrist & psychoanalyst:
The cycle of narcissistic abuse is a pattern of harmful behaviors used by one person to manipulate and exploit another.
Moreover, while specific motives may differ among perpetrators, common objectives involve asserting power, exercising control, and fulfilling narcissistic desires.
After the idealization phase comes the devaluation phase.
In this phase, the abuser systematically erodes the victim’s self-esteem, belittling their achievements, criticizing their every move, and inflicting psychological wounds. Insults, gaslighting, and constant put-downs become weapons used to undermine the victim’s sense of self-worth. The devaluation phase seeks to diminish the victim’s confidence, leaving them bewildered, shattered, and questioning their own sanity. It is a calculated assault on their identity, leaving them vulnerable and primed for further manipulation.
As I've stated previously, I'm not a mental health expert. I am drawing from personal experiences to gain understanding. Growing up my father would lash out from what I believe was his own dismay at how his life was going. He wanted to be an artist but couldn't sell anything. He wasn't a bad artist and became a fairly credible cartoonist. I'm very used to being the emotional outlet of certain family members. My self-esteem has been battered but I do have a strong core because of my mother. I can take an emotional beating but I will only endure it for so long. However, I have far less patience if those I love are targeted.
This is what Andy Signore triggered during my time working on his headlines team and being one of his YouTube moderators. I tried to appeal to both him and Stef when things took a turn within the community. Andy pretended to care but I soon saw through his facade. Stef completely ignored me. This the way of the Popcorned Planet cult, IMO.
Generally, the perpetrator’s underlying message during the devaluation phase is Why can’t you be more like me? You’re failing to reflect the qualities I associate with my idealized self image!
Common Manipulation Tactics During Devaluation
- Blame-shifting. When confronted about their behavior the perpetrator redirects blame onto others or external factors in order to evade accountability.
This is a constant with Andy Signore and his crew.
- Constant criticism. The victim is subjected to a continuous stream of negative feedback, disparaging remarks, and judgmental comments, which erode their self-esteem, creating a profound sense of worthlessness and emotional distress. The perpetrator further extends their criticism to encompass the victim’s family and friends, leaving the victim burdened with a deep sense of shame.
- Emotional Neglect. The victim no longer receives emotional validation, attention, and care from the perpetrator, causing them to feel unheard, disconnected, and taken for granted. The sudden and unexplained withdrawal of affection impacts the victim’s self-esteem and sense of self.
- Exploitation. The victim is taken advantage of by the perpetrator who uses their trust to make use of their access, resources and/or labor for their own benefit. It is done without concern for the victim’s human rights or well-being. The exploitation may be emotional, intellectual, economic, social or sexual.
Andy has fine tuned his exploitation tactic, IMO. How many headline members have left his team? Moderators? Big spenders? Probably at least a half dozen of each, probably more. By my estimate, anyway.
- Gaslighting. When the victim confronts the perpetrator the are met with this tactic to undermine the their perception of reality and make them doubt their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The perpetrator denies facts in an attempt to alter the victim’s memories. The aim of gaslighting is to gain power and control over the victim by destabilizing their confidence and creating a state of confusion and dependency.
Jade's story illustrates Andy's gaslighting. He would tell her they didn't talk about what Jade said they talked about. Or it's purpose was different in some way. Luckily Jade didn't fully fall for it.
Certain moderators helped build Andy's community although that's not at all how he tells the story. I remember him encouraging folks to share social media with each other then he had the gall to tell us that making friends wasn't permitted. smh
- Intermittent Reinforcement. The perpetrator blows hot and cold. One day they idealize the victim, the next they are completely indifferent. The victim becomes increasingly desperate to climb back on the pedestal and revert to the idealization stage, unaware that it was not sincere. The harder the victim tries to win back the affection of the perpetrator the more callous the perpetrator becomes.
- Isolation. The perpetrator’s manipulation will often lead to the victim cutting off treasured family members and friends. By isolating the victim, the perpetrator of the abuse to better able to control their access to information and influence their world view. As the perpetrator’s aggression escalates, the victim has no one to turn to.
- Silent Treatment. The perpetrator deliberately ignores or refuses to acknowledge the victim. They do no speak to them. It is a tactic used to exert control, power, and/or punish the recipient of the abuse. By intentionally withholding communication, the silent treatment can cause feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and emotional distress in the targeted individual.
- Triangulation. This is a divide and conquer tactic. The perpetrator creates and leverages a dynamic wherein the victim is pitted against others, causing conflict, chaos, and division. The perpetrator strategically uses a third party to undermine the victim’s confidence, fostering insecurity, competition and/or jealousy.
Andy is VERY good at creating a dynamic where certain community members/moderators are pitted against others in a sick sort of competition. I refused to play such stupid games.
Narcissists and Sociopaths groom victims to enable abuse
I mentioned in my last article that I wanted to talk about adult grooming. When this word is mentioned we tend to think of pedophiles doing this to children but it's not solely used in this manner. Wherever there is a power dynamic at play it can occur. Such as with a large content creator with their subscribers/members/fans.
Grooming, as a word commonly used to describe how sexual predators purposefully engage with child sexual abuse targets, is actually the same psychological manipulation technique employed by nearly all Cluster B individuals to trap or otherwise psychologically enchant their abuse targets.
As a reminder of the Cluster B personality traits: Narcissistic, Histrionic, Boderline and Antisocial.
If someone has Borderline Personality Disorder, expect narcissism to show alternating with them appearing to truly care about other people (even though they are simply pretending in order to put themselves in a position to demand return favors).
I defnitely saw this with Andy. I think he only pretends to care about the people in his community as well as those he covers on his channel(s).
An HPD person will tend to turn every tiny event into some grand brouhaha, readily displaying their own “the world revolves entirely around me” sentiment. Inherently narcissistic by nature but capable of feeling some level of complex emotion related to empathy, the Histrionic is the person who knows how to work a crowd but uses the skill in a room with only one or two people at a time acting as their audience to manipulate and play with psychologically.
Oh yes, Andy is very good at turning tiny events into grand brouhahas and definitely displays characteristics of the world revolving around him, IMO.
But the person with a covert Narcissistic Personality Disorder? They seriously don’t give a rat’s behind about any person’s needs, health, life, or schedule other than their own.
And chances are they will be the first to express outright rage, throw a stonewalling temper tantrum, or look at other people with a blank stare of disbelief when and if someone other than themselves makes an assertion that on occasion (at least) someone else’s needs might be considered equally valid to their own. Just don’t expect them to lash out when anyone important or who could tell on them is watching.
I believe that this explains Andy to a T. While a YouTube moderator's schedule will most likely revolve around the creator's schedule I highly doubt they have uncredited worker bees giving up sleep to put together a show that may be scrapped on a whim. And if you question it, you're either dismissed out of hand or informed that you are the problem.
I've noticed that Andy will not hesitate to block the average person when they question his behavior but he doesn't do that to creators that are larger than him or are some sort of celebrity. Regular guests on his channel say, "he's always been nice to me." Well, no duh. If he can use you, he'll be nice to you, IMO.
Grooming (as a civil meshing rather than psychologically and emotionally abusive process) happens to some degree in every close personal friendship, romance, or family relationship. Everyone has preferences, needs, and likes doing things typically according to their own methods, habits, practices, and ways. The more successful most people are at using their powers of observation to help them enhance interpersonal communication, the more likely they are to live longer, happier, more successful lives in general.
But grooming someone with the intent of showing them mutual respect is NOT what Cluster B personality types do.
Whatever personality type a Cluster B predator has it’s important to note they all ultimately have the same aim of self-satisfying when and if they go through the motions of grooming victims. Narcissistic people groom victims to enable Narcissistic Abuse while keeping situational abuse intensity or physical consequences a secret for the Abuser’s exclusive psychological, physical, financial, legal, and emotional benefit, plain and simple.
And this is why it's so insidious, IMO. Normal folks don't expect to encounter people with Cluster B traits. With content creators perhaps there is a belief that a computer screen will be protection. And it can be, to some extent, but not if you don't know beforehand. I tend to take people at face value and got sucked in Andy Signore's cult of Popcorned Planet. Luckily I learned long ago that head games are a waste of time so I escaped fairly unscathed. Others aren't so lucky which is why I will keep on exploring all of this. I refuse to stay silent when vulnerable people are still being used, abused and tossed aside.
